TV Clips

LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

2012-01-09T09:40:00.000-08:00

When I consider your heavens,

the work of your fingers,

the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,

what is mankind that you are mindful of them,

human beings that you care for them?

2011 Nike Women's Marathon Finisher!

2011-10-26T14:31:00.000-07:00

After 6 hours and 12 minutes, I finally crossed the finish line of what I vowed would me my 1st and last marathon ever. Oddly enough, I started to reconsider 3 days later ... after the soreness went away :)

2011 Nike Women's Marathon Preview

2011-10-12T12:34:00.000-07:00

Breathing Space

2011-08-08T08:44:00.000-07:00

An excerpt from “Fire”

by Judy Brown

What makes a fire burn

Is space between the logs,

a breathing space.

Too much of a good thing,

too many logs packed in too tight

can squelch a fire,

can douse the flames

almost as surly

as a pail of water can.

Sometimes the best question to ask is not "what do I need to do," but "what do I need to stop doing."

Wild Flower Finish

2011-07-15T11:37:00.000-07:00

I realize I haven't been blogging much about my whole tri training journey. And I've recently discovered why. (I'll blog more about that later.) In the meantime, here's a video of my finish at Wild Flower - my first Olympic distance tri. (I'm about 2:20 into the video.) Enjoy!

And yes ... My name real name is Maria ... ugh.

National Chocolate Eclair Day

2011-06-22T19:51:00.000-07:00

According to Facebook and verified by Google, today is National Chocolate Eclair Day! My immediate thought ... Pack up my desk and work virtually from Bouchon Bakery in Yountville where they serve a vast array of tasty pastries, including, but not limited to, Chocolate Eclairs. And so, with the beautiful weather taunting me ... That's just what I did =)

En route to the bakery, however, I took a detour to the site of my 2007 cycling accident. I hadn't been back since 2008 when I completed the ride that was abruptly cut short.

Exiting the freeway and making my way through the narrow and windy roads, it was as if weights were suddenly being stacked on my chest; I found it difficult to breath. But I couldn't identify what I was feeling.

I parked my minivan at the turnoff just past the portion of the road where I crashed (in the pic, it's after the bottom shadows).

I took some time to walk up the hill and back down noticing the sharpness of the turns, the steepness of the hill, and the width of the road.

I recalled the exhilarating feeling I had flying down the hill and thinking what an amazing ride it was. I remembered making that last turn and immediately knowing I was going to hit the ditch ... and closing my eyes ... and so I closed my eyes for a moment.

With my eyes still closed, standing on the side of the road, it was as if I were watching myself ride down the hill coming out of the turn. I tried to figure out why I wasn't able to stay on the road. Too fast? Too wide of a turn? Momentary loss of focus and concentration? Lost in a moment of feeling like I was flying? Probably all of the above. I had been careless.

I opened my eyes again, just staring at the spot where I landed almost 4 years ago. And I offered up a short prayer of thanksgiving to God for sparing my life that day.

Ebb and Flow

2011-06-18T23:15:00.000-07:00

Like the ebb and flow of tides

The feelings subside and rise

Stifle

2011-06-18T12:12:00.000-07:00

Stifle is a word that came to my mind as my head was still on my pillow the other day.

Stifle - unable to breathe properly; to interrupt or to cut off; to keep in or hold back; repress.

I can feel something pooling in my chest, and I work to not let it rise any further. I distract myself with another thought. I busy myself by getting up and doing something - anything - making a cup of coffee, folding laundry, rearranging stacks of paper. It's as if I cannot be present in the same space with whatever it is that suddenly wants to be known.

At least now I'm aware that it's there, though I haven't gotten to where I welcome its presence just yet. I have not yet allowed myself to open the door. What does come out comes out in trickles or leaks through cracks in the facade of the wall that I realize I have built. I am not yet ready for the flood. I think I fear I might drown.

Thank God ~ He Is Always By My Side

2011-06-17T22:45:00.000-07:00

Lyrics to "By Your Side"

~ Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days

Why are you trying to earn grace

Why are you crying

Let me lift up your face

Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love

Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough

To where will you go child

Tell me where will you run

To where will you run

And I'll be by your side

Wherever you fall

In the dead of night

Whenever you call

And please don't fight

These hands that are holding you

My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side

They swallowed the grave on that night

When I drank the world's sin

So I could carry you in

And give you life

I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you

I want you to know

That I, I love you

I'll never let you go

Haiku

2011-06-15T20:05:00.000-07:00

(17 syllabels, 3 lines: 5 / 7 / 5)

I sing quietly

My heart to yours alone, Lord

And I know you hear

The Necessity of Writing

2011-06-01T13:13:00.000-07:00

For me ...

Writing/journaling keeps me mindful to observe life and all the lessons within it. Participating in life an purposefully experiencing those lessons as they unfold inspires the content.

Stillheart

2011-05-28T21:56:00.000-07:00

sliding door open

the feel of the cool evening air

the sound of the fountain below

and the sight of huge redwood trees

the light scent of lavender

thoughts of stillness and peace

the hiss of air moving through the trees

and the weight of God, My Comforter

embracing me

Parenting is Heart Work

2011-05-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

I had the privilege of speaking at my church on Mother's Day. Below is the video clip we shared just before my message, "Parenting is Heart Work." I hope you are encouraged and blessed. More importantly, I hope you are challenged to love the Lord with all ...

The Triathlete's Prayer

2011-05-02T19:31:00.000-07:00

I want to thank everyone for all your encouragement and support as I've been training for this whole triathlon thing :) Through it all, I've just wanted to always give God my best for His glory ... not mine.

Lord, please clear my head of all distractions,

And my heart of any burdens I may bear,

So that I may perform my very best,

Knowing you'll always be there.

Please lift me up before the moment,

So through your eyes I may see,

And have a clearer understanding,

As the race unfolds before me.

With great courage I will meet this challenge,

As You would have me to,

But keep me humble and remind me,

That my strength comes from knowing You.

Then when all eyes are upon me,

At the end of this big race,

I will turn their eyes to You O Lord,

And to the glory of Your place.

Life-Changing Connections

2011-02-09T13:03:00.000-08:00

I'm sad that I have not been blogging/journaling about my triathlon training experience. It's been such a learning experience ... and I love learning ... but life has also been hectic.

This past Sunday, however, I had the privilege of speaking at our church on the value of being connected to a team of people who will challenge and encourage us to live and love well. I mention some of the things I've discovered in my training process (past and present) which also apply to my daily life.

I was never involved in intramural sports growing up, so I discovered the value of TEAM a little later in life.

See if you can identify who is on your team roster!

(Below are the pictures I make reference to in my talk.)

What's the Condition of My Soul?

2011-02-01T09:34:00.000-08:00

Questions from Stirred Up Leadership that got me stirred up:

What’s the freshest thing God has been doing in your life lately?
How full is your emotional, physical and spiritual tanks? Empty, quarter filled, half, three quarters or full.
What theme does God seem to be emphasizing in this season of your life?
What are you looking for God to do in your life in the next couple of months?
What’s God been saying to you through His Word recently?
What passion is God stirring in your soul recently?
What season best describes your spiritual life right now: Winter, spring summer or fall? Why?
What’s exciting you the most in your spiritual journey these days?

Upon immediate thought, I'm not sure I have answers to many of those questions above. I will be the first to admit that I get so caught up in my day-to-day activities that I forget that there is a God who loves me and is working in and around my life. While we're busy taking care of the many things that demand our attention, let's not forget to have these "soul-care conversations" regularly.

My 2011 Race Calendar

2011-01-21T15:00:00.000-08:00

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Stanford Treeathlon (Sprint Tri)

500 meter swim / 20k bike / 5k run

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Napa Valley Trail Half Marathon

13.1 miles

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Ice Breaker Sprint Tri

.5 mile swim / 13 mile bike / 4 mile run

==== My "A" Race ====

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Wildflower Olympic Tri

.9 mile swim / 24.7 mile bike / 6.2 mile run

Beyond May ... who knows ;-)

What's Your Story?

2010-11-06T15:38:00.000-07:00

I picked up Don Miller's latest book as an after thought while standing in line at the bookstore back in July. We were getting some reading material for the girls for a road trip were were about to take, and just before giving the cashier my money, I handed her A Million Miles in a Thousand Years ... because it was on sale, and because it was about someone who rode his bike across the US.

I could not put it down. It "spoke" to me on so many levels. Get it? Bicycle spokes ... spoke to me ;-)

Our lives are amazing - each telling a different story ... what's yours?

(PS - To the friend I let borrow this book of mine. Will I ever see it again.)

2010-11-02T18:14:00.001-07:00

"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go." ~T.S. Elliot

Oh, So That Explains It!

2010-10-14T08:31:00.000-07:00

As you may know, the Clifton StrengthsFinder measures the presence of talent in 34 categories called "themes." These themes were determined by Gallup as those that most consistently predict outstanding performance. The greater the presence of a theme of talent within a person, the more likely that person is to spontaneously exhibit those talents in day-to-day behaviors. Focusing on naturally powerful talents helps people use them as the foundation of strengths and enjoy personal, academic, and career success through consistent, near-perfect performance.

Below are my top five themes of talent, ranked in the order revealed by my responses to the Clifton StrengthsFinder.

How well do you think these themes describe me?

Learner
People who are especially talented in the Learner theme have a great desire to learn and want to continuously improve. In particular, the process of learning, rather than the outcome, excites them.

Achiever
People who are especially talented in the Achiever theme have a great deal of stamina and work hard. They take great satisfaction from being busy and productive.

Responsibility
People who are especially talented in the Responsibility theme take psychological ownership of what they say they will do. They are committed to stable values such as honesty and loyalty.

Connectedness
People who are especially talented in the Connectedness theme have faith in the links between all things. They believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.

Input
People who are especially talented in the Input theme have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information.

To learn more about the Clifton StrengthsFinder and how you can discover your top five themes, visit http://strengths.gallup.com.

Food for the Body and Soul

2010-08-23T22:23:00.000-07:00

Last week, I completed the 5K101 program (for the 2nd time)! I say I'm a two-time graduate, because I completed the program last year and ran my very first 5k in November. But I hadn't run since.

I re-started the program a couple months ago, and on Tuesday, I ran 3.1 miles in 40 minutes. This might be slow by some standards, but it is 2 minutes faster than my 5k last year. On Thursday I attempted the same run, but as I approached the 1 mile marker, I thought I was gonna pass out. So I walked the rest of the way home feeling like a total loser. Saturday morning, however, I ran the 3.1 miles in 38 minutes! And then yesterday, I rode my bike up Howell Mtn. Road. It was about a 4-mile climb. Tough, but I got to the top. Surprisingly though, I had just as tough a time on the last leg of the ride - rollers - which should have been relatively easy.

The difference - nutrition. Food to fuel the fire.

I've noticed that I can barrel my way through the day often forgetting to eat. I can still function, but when I don't eat, my physical body gets weak, and I "hit the wall," so to speak during a hard run or ride. And I am reminded that when I don't feast on the Word of God, I get spiritually weak as well.

I'm learning that if I'm thirsty or hungry, I've waited too long to replenish my nutrients and am running on fumes. In the same way, I can't wait till the hard stuff comes to binge on the Word of God. Instead, I need to graze - to eat small portions throughout the day - consistently and frequently to power up for whatever may lie ahead.

Lead Where You Are

2010-08-09T22:32:00.000-07:00

On August 5-6, 2010, ten of us carpooled to Folsom to attend the Global Leadership Summit - one of the best investments a leader can make in himself. Personally, I was poured into, refreshed, energized, challenged, and sharpened. If I could, I would take all of you next year!

Below are this year's speakers, their topics, and my take-away from each:

Bill Hybels - Opening Session

Leadership involves moving people from HERE ---> THERE!
Assemble a team of fantastic people who possess character, competence, chemistry, and fit with our organizational culture.
Inspire people along the journey by establishing mile markers and celebrations.
Listen to the whispers of God.

Jim Collins -Never, Ever Give Up

5 Stages of Decline

Hubris of Success (outrageous arrogance)
Undisciplined Pursuit of More
Denial of Risk and Peril
Grasping for Salvation
Capitulation to Irrelevance or Death

One can be in stages 1-3 and look great on the outside, while the inside is diseased.
Do regular diagnostics.
Count your blessings - account for all the good things I didn't cause!
We spend too much time trying to be interesting; we should spend more time being interested.
Most of us have a to-do list. We also need a stop-doing list.
BHAG - Big Hairy Audacious Goal

Christine Caine -Leading on the Edge of Hope

It doesn't take a lot of light to dispel the darkness. It just takes courage.
Serve out of obligation, and you do what you have to. Serve out of passion, and you do what you want to.
We can serve with passionate hope and an unshakable confidence in God.

Tony Dungy -The Mentor Leader

He was just there to help his players play better.
Work efficiently. Don't mistake hours for productivity.
Look for a mentor and look for someone to mentor.
Get interested in someone's life and speak into them.

Adam Hamilton -When Leaders Fail

Giving --> Emptiness --> Vulnerability --> Temptation --> Addiction --> Shame --> Alienation

Attraction

          > the movement of the maybe; rationalizing the sin
          > nothing good can come out of telling the other person
          > maybe eventually becomes a yes
          > find the strength to stop saying maybe and say NO

5 R's of Resisting Temptation

Remember who you are.
Recognize the consequences of my actions - fantasize about the worst possible outcome.
Rededicate self to God in prayer (stop/drop/pray)
Reveal struggle to a trusted friend. The power of temptation is secrecy.
Remove self from the situation. Erect clearer boundaries.

Dr. Peter Zhao Xiao - Beyond Economy: China's Transformation with the Cross

He was commissioned by the Chinese government to study the success of the American economy. He concluded that a moral foundation allowed our economy to flourish, argued that China's economy would benefit from the spread of the Christian faith, and embraced Christianity himself!

Leadership is not just about influence, but direction; so we have to be aware of changes.
There are only 2 kinds of transformations: that with the cross, and that without the cross.
I will not give to the Lord that which costs me nothing.

Andy Stanley - The Upside of Tension

Our opposing thumb creates pressure resulting in progress.
Some problems never really go away. They're not meant to be resolved, but rather to be managed.
Don't think in terms of balance. Think in terms of rhythm.

Jeff Manion -The Land Between

The land between is fertile soil for:

complaints, not just against their situation, but against God himself
melt downs
God's provision, though sometimes not in the way we think
God's discipline
transformational growth (inviting trust evicts complaint)

Terri Kelly -When Leaders Emerge: The Story of W.L Gore & Associates

Established common foundation of values:

Value of the individual
Power of small teams
We're all in the same boat
Take a long-term view

Daniel H. Pink -What Motivates Us: Not What You Think

Autonomy - Management is an archaic technology designed to get compliance. It doesn't lead to engagement. Self-direction does.
Mastery - Making progress is the best motivator, and the best way to get people engaged. Help people see progress.
Purpose - With the limited profitability of the times, we've seen a rise of purpose as the motivator.

Blake Mycoskie - Making Conscious Capitalism Work: The TOMS Shoes Story

It's never to early to give!
Incorporate giving into work life, into your culture.
4/15/2011 - One Day Without Shoes - to spread awareness about the impact one pair of shoes can have on a child's life.

Jack Welch - Leader to Leader

Authenticity - Be comfortable in your own skin, be someone people can count on.
Engery / Energize - Unless the leader feels the fire, it is hard to pass it on. Tell a story how their lives will change. Get them excited about the journey. Get them to tell their stories to each other. Raise the intellectual power of the meeting by drawing out other people.
Candor - Fight desperately to get what people are really thinking/feeling/believing on the table.
Differentiation - Identify the top 20%, the vital 70%, and the back-end 10%.
Create an appraisal system that creates conversation that lets people know where they stand.
Attitude/Behavior of Top 20% People - filled with energy, excites others, like-able, good values, loves to see people grow, loves to reward people, not mean-spirited or cheap/stingy, they celebrate people. Generosity of spirit, don't have a lot of envy, celebrates success of others.
The Vital 70% - hard and consistent worker, but isn''t always there in the clutch
Bottom 10% - not a team player, acidic

T.D. Jakes - Combustible Passion

People are assets. They are passionate when they can do something within their reach. They want to be stretched, not ripped apart. Evaluate what people can do. Challenge them without overwhelming them. Don't want them to feel defeated.
Assess who they are, where they are, what they do, and allocate them appropriately.
Confidant - Some people are for you.
Constituent - Some people are for what you are for.
Comrade - Some people are against what you're against. Some people are fighters! Direct these people towards the target, instead of making yourself the target.
Don't hold on to people too tightly who are meant to come and go.

Prayer Slacker

2010-08-04T17:40:00.000-07:00

My pastor has been challenging us to grow in our practice of prayer and dependence on God ... to not let prayer be just another thing we do ... but that prayer would be the way we do everything.

Personally, I've tried to live an abiding type of prayer life; because being the check-list kind of person that I am, my approach to a scheduled "quite-time" has often resulted in it being just another thing on the to-do list. But while most would say the abiding kind of prayer life IS the one we should hope to develop, I'm realizing it has become somewhat of an excuse for me.

I know this because there have been times I've sensed in heaviness of heart the need to just sit in quiet before God - sometimes to pray in silent, sometimes to read His Word, sometimes to write - often times not knowing the person or circumstance I'm praying about. I have sensed and avoided these encounters more often than not; so it's a cop-out for me to say that I pray with out ceasing throughout the day, when in my heart I know I've only offered Him my distracted attention.

I have discounted these calls. Why? Because to purposefully pull away from the noise of life, to sit without agenda or study guide or grocery-list of needs, leaves me emotionally raw, organically transparent, naked ... and it scares me. But I don't want to walk in fear. So yesterday, I acknowledged and confessed the condition of my heart to some friends, because I truly do want to answer the call to grow in my practice of prayer and dependence on God.

On a lighter note, later in the afternoon, I was reading Pete Wilson's blog. His friend recently wrote a book which he was giving away to 5 random winners. All we had to do was post, on a scale of 1-10, how our prayer life is these days. So I did. (I'm currently a 2.) I woke up this morning to an email saying I was randomly selected to receive Dianne Moody's Confessions of a Prayer Slacker.

God - you are too funny.

I'm Not Really a Pink Kinda Girl ...

2010-07-13T18:25:00.000-07:00

... but I think it would be totally cool to be riding around in this jersey!

(Follow The Fat Cyclist blog.)

It's Summertime

2010-07-01T15:05:00.000-07:00

Saw this on Presentation Zen today and thought it was appropriate for the season. Hope you're enjoying your summertime.

Parents Behaving Badly

2010-06-22T17:23:00.000-07:00

I behaved badly over the weekend. Had my kids acted up the way I did when they were younger, I totally would have given them a timeout. Actually, the timeout wasn't in fashion yet when I had kids, so let's just say the rod would NOT have been spared on me.

I'm so thankful for a Heavenly Father who doesn't treat me as I deserve. His mercy and grace continue to overwhelm me.

And when my earthly relationships (like my husband) extend forgiveness when they don't have to ... well, that just reinforces God's love for me even more.

Lord, help me to not act like a spoiled child. Help me to extend your mercy, grace, and love to others ... so that they might somehow catch a glimpse of You. Amen.

Nomenclature

2010-06-18T13:30:00.000-07:00

I couldn't help but notice the names of some of the boats while jogging along the marina today: Harlequin, Half A Loaf, Someday Has Come, Victory, and even This Damn Boat!

It made me wonder what I would name my boat if I had one. Here were some of my thoughts:

Unplugged
Slow Down
Breathe
Get On It
Sure You Can
Why Not

What would you name yours?

Thank You Lord

2010-06-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

On May 30th, my firstborn turned 18. On June 3rd, she graduated from high school. We celebrated this milestone with a party surrounding her with all the family and friends who love her so.

During a portion of the program, she and her sister performed a hula to the song, Thank You Lord. It was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes ... seeing the dance, my daughters, and the message in the lyrics of the song.

Lauren, I'm so proud of you. And I pray that you'll always remain close to the Lord. Continue to cultivate a heart of gratitude for who He is and all that He's done for you. And I pray this love overflows from your life into the lives of those around you. You have been, and continue to be, such a blessing to me.

Thank You Lord
by Weldon Kekauoha

Thank You Lord for saving my life
I promise I’ll praise Your name
For You held me up when I couldn’t stand
Through You my life has a plan

For You gave Your life for me that day
Upon that rock on Calvary
I can’t imagine and still deny
You are the way, the truth, and the life

So I thank You lord
For seeing me through
Those times when my eyes couldn’t see
Even when I fell , You still loved me
Where in the world would I be

Maybe lost and lonely in the cold
Hoping for someone to hold
I can’t imagine and still deny
You are the way, the truth, and the life

So I thank You lord
For hearing my prayer
And giving me all that I need
I will try my best and do all I can
Because I know only you understand

You have blessed my life and helped me through
All of those times when I needed You
I can’t imagine and still deny
You are the way, the truth, and the life

And so I thank You lord
For saving my life
I promise I’ll praise Your name
For You held me up
When I couldn’t stand
Jesus now I understand
Jesus now I understand
Yes Jesus, You are the man
Yes Jesus, You are the man

"Welcome Back"

2010-06-06T17:19:00.000-07:00

I went on my first "real" ride in a long time ... 30-something miles starting at The Presidio, crossing the Golden Gate Bridge, through beautiful Sausalito, into Corte Madera, and back. Gorgeous ride!

I was excited and nervous at the same time. I'd always wanted to ride my bike across the Golden Gate Bridge!

I had serious doubts about completing the whole ride, however, after the short but steep climb just to get on the bridge. After all, it had been awhile since I'd done any climbing.

The guys waited for me at the top - the entrance of the bridge, where I sucked air for a little bit. "Welcome back," Jun told me ... and I just grunted.

I told them to just go and that I'd meet them at the end of the bridge. We'd continue that pattern the rest of the day ... they'd ride ahead (fast) and just wait for me at the top of a hill or at a spot where I might have a question as to where to go. And then we'd roll again ... and they'd wait ... and then we'd roll again :)

The ride was beautiful ... but the thoughts running through my mind - not so much. And this definitely sucked some of the enjoyment of the ride for me. What as going through my mind? "These guys are 24, 28, and 36 years of age. And here I am in my 40's! What do I think I'm doing? I should probably just hang up the bike and take up golf again. Maybe I should just have Andrew pick me up in Sausalito. Just keep pedaling. Ride you're own ride; don't mind them. You'll get there - might be a little slower, but you'll still get there." AND I DID! I finished the ride.

Psalm 139:14-16 says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (NIV). But it occurred to me how I often forget God's truth and can still succumb to this annoying habit of comparing my ride (my life) to someone else's and getting really discouraged. John 10:10, Jesus says, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

What annoying habits to you have that suck the joy out of you and keep you from experiencing life to the full, as Jesus intended?

A Funny Thing Happened On My Way to Retreat ...

2010-05-20T09:00:00.001-07:00

Being a wife and mom, working part-time as well as working from home, computers, Facebook, AIM, Twitter, emails, blogs, and a cell phone that makes it all accessible 24-hours a day ... my life can be so full of noise. So I was really looking forward to "unplugging" and connecting with other women during women's retreat. Besides, even though cell phone reception is horrible at Silver Spur, I knew of a spot in the middle of a bridge where I could post and occasional Facebook update and picture from my iPhone ... you know ... so my family would know what I was up to!

But a funny thing happened to me on my way to retreat ...

Unbeknownst to me, my phone fell out of my bag just outside of my house as I was leaving. Ahahhaha! God, you are soooo funny! I guess I was meant to TRULY unplug :)

I had a refreshing time at retreat and got a chance to spend some quality time with some amazing women. Thanks God!

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T

2010-05-19T08:16:00.000-07:00

I am a strong woman of God.

I know His Words are true.

I know He is a God that cannot lie.

And I don't need to know or understand everything about Him to trust Him.

I am not being easily moved,
because I know He sees and holds my yesterdays, my today, and all my tomorrows.

I don't wallow in what-ifs or why-me's, because I've learned to count it all joy when I fall into various trials, and I know that the testing of my faith produces patience ... and I want to let my light shine before all men that they might see my good deeds and glorify my Father in heaven.

BUT

Sometimes along the way,

In being that strong woman of God,

I become this person who thinks she's got it all together and no longer needs her Daddy. In the journey from feelings to faith, my heart can take a brisk stroll far away from Him. But I am so thankful that I'm never out of His reach.

Lord, help me to start each morning, quietly with You. I don't want to always be in such a hurry. Help me to remember that I am your child and that you delight in spending time with me. I pray I constantly and consciously walk with You, instead of ahead of You. Amen.

Foul Weather Friends

2010-03-21T21:53:00.000-07:00

I received this as an email from Dayspring.com this morning. It spoke to me in that it's much easier for me to walk through the rain with other people than it is for me to allow other people to walk with me ...

What about you ...

I wish I had a big red umbrella that would keep all the rain out of your life. I would hold it over your head and the drops would splash, splash and you would never even feel them. But I don't have a big red umbrella...so I'll walk through the rain with you.

God doesn't intend for us to go through our storms alone. We all need our "foul weather friends" who will venture out into the weather with us.

There are two questions we must answer to not only survive but thrive through life's storms;

Who will walk through the rain with us? And will we let them?

Friends love through all kinds of weather. Proverbs 17:17 MSG

(Devotional quote from the 365 Day Inspirational Calendar, Rain on Me based on the book, by Holley Gerth.)

(Image is a picture of Rolf Harris' The Red Umbrella.)

Beauty - Often Noticed, Often Felt

2010-03-17T16:23:00.000-07:00

I see it ~ and it moves me ...

It's not always the "pretty" things. An old photograph. The shadow of a parent walking with his child. The view from above after climbing a steep hill below. A lone, unoccupied bench in a garden of greenery and blossoms. The quiet companionship of an elderly couple sitting in a corner at a coffee shop. It's not always the "pretty" things.

When something external invokes something internal and makes us take notice ... We see it ~ and it moves us ... that's beauty.

But, as Sarah Markely notes, "We seem to be able to find beauty in the world day after day but we struggle to find it in ourselves."

"I Can See Clearly Now"

2010-02-26T19:13:00.001-08:00

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,

I can see all obstacles in my way

Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind

It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)

Sun-Shiny day.

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone

All of the bad feelings have disappeared

Here is the rainbow I've been prayin for

It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)

Sun-Shiny day.

Look all around, there's nothin but blue skies

Look straight ahead, nothin but blue skies

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,

I can see all obstacles in my way

Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind

It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)

Sun-Shiny day.

~ Johnny Nash

Guess Who Is Forty-Two!

2010-01-31T19:00:00.000-08:00

Yes, that would be me ... I celebrated a birthday this past Wednesday.

Forty-two hasn't really phased me. "Age is just a number," I heard someone say.

What really caught me off guard, however, was hearing that my baby brother will be turning 37 in a few weeks! MY BABY BROTHER! That's just wrong.

OH - and the fact that I received notice of my 20-year college reunion.

That's even wrong-er ...

Celebrating Our 20th Wedding Anniversary!

2010-01-26T21:39:00.000-08:00

I Will Be Here

(Steven Curtis Chapman)

Tomorrow morning if you wake up

and the sun does not appear

I will be here

If in the dark, we lose sight of love

Hold my hand, and have no fear

'Cause I will be here

I will be here

When you feel like being quiet

When you need to speak your mind

I will listen

And I will be here

When the laughter turns to cryin'

Through the winning, losing and trying

We'll be together

I will be here

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up

And the future is unclear

I will be here

Just as sure as seasons were made for change

Our lifetimes were made for these years

So I will be here

I will be here

And you can cry on my shoulder

When the mirror tells us we're older

I will hold you

And I will be here

To watch you grow in beauty

And tell you all the things you are to me

I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made

To you and to the One who gave you to me

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up

And the sun does not appear

I will be here

Oh, I will be here.

Seeking

2010-01-19T23:15:00.000-08:00

I AM the goal of all your searching. When you seek Me, you find Me and are satisfied. When lesser goals capture your attention, I fade into the background of your life. I am still there, watching and waiting; but you function as if you were alone. Actually, My Light shines on every situation you will ever face. Live radiantly by expanding your focus to include Me in all your moments. Let nothing dampen your search for Me.

Excerpt taken from "Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence"

~ Sarah Young

Happy Birthday Mom!

2009-10-20T18:14:00.000-07:00

In honor of my mom's birthday, we made a House of Chan dinner - Egg Drop Soup (with the fried wonton strips to top it off), Beef with Broccoli (but Andrew wanted mushrooms and onions too), Lumpia, and Rice. It was yummy, but not nearly as delish as my mom and dad's cooking from back in the restaurant days.

When I called my mom to wish her happy birthday, she was on the way to San Jose with my dad to see a free Filipino concert which I thought was sooo cute! You go, Mom!

I love my mom. She is a strong woman with a servant's heart. And she lives up to her name, Amor, which of course means "love." She loves the Lord, and it shows in the way she lives her life.

This is a picture of my mom, Amor, with my daughter and her namesake, Lauren Amor.

Happy birthday, Mom.

We love you!

The Things I Find ...

2009-10-17T14:53:00.000-07:00

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Three Doors Down

2009-09-18T10:13:00.000-07:00

On Easter weekend this year, we moved ... three doors down.

We knew it was coming, but with my bone-grafting surgery in January, my gum-grafting surgery a couple months after that, followed by another procedure a little later, healing and recovery had been our focus. In the grand scope of things, the house is just stuff, I know. Which is why I can share my story of how God provided for us in an amazing way...

It was on a Thursday when Andrew and I decided we would start looking for a new place to live. On the following Saturday, we had an appointment to view a house on the other side of the freeway. It was nice, and so was the landlord, but as we stepped out to leave, I unexpectedly broke down in tears. I think I came face to face with the reality of my shame, my loss, and my fear. So in the car, Andrew prayed ... for our lack of stewardship ~ forgive us; in our having to let go of the house ~ comfort us; and for our fear ~ Lord, remind us that You are our provider and grant us favor. We drove off to spend the day with family in Yountville.

Throughout the afternoon when my thoughts would drift towards wondering where we'd move to and all the work ahead, a devotional I'd read several weeks ago about waiting, trusting, and hoping would flood my heart and mind. "Because I trust in God, I can wait in hope," I kept reminding myself. And we enjoyed a great Saturday of friendship, food, and fun.

Coming home later that day, we noticed a FOR RENT sign in our neighbor's window, three doors down. Needless to say, Andrew went to see him and told him about us having to move ... (remember, this is a Saturday).

As it turned out, our neighbor bought a new house just a few miles away. While he was able to secure a tenant in early February, his loan was taking forever to close, and the tenant couldn't wait any longer. He told Andrew, "She just backed out yesterday (Friday). I returned her security deposit and first month's rent, and just put the FOR RENT sign up an hour ago. If you want to move in here, I'll take the sign down right now!" He drew up a rental agreement that night.

They were so grateful to us, because they were worried they wouldn't be able to find a tenant in time for them to move. We shared our story with them and the unbelievable timing of it all. And none of us could doubt that God had provided for our families in an amazing way that day.

And so here I am, three doors down, humbled by His majesty once again.

"Take Me Home Country Roads"

2009-09-12T09:52:00.000-07:00

I woke up to weather that reminded me of growing up in the east coast.

I love the sounds of rain and thunder. Something about them reminds me of growing up in Virginia ... peering in awe through the sliding glass door, counting the seconds between flashes of light and the resounding crashes of thunder which never scared me. Even as a child, I recall somehow knowing that life was so much bigger than me.

(The picture above reminds me of driving home on Pohick Road in Springfield, Virginia.)

It can't remember if it was 7th or 8th grade, but do I remember having to memorize poems in one English class. One in particular resonated with me, The Road Not Taken. "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both ... I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." That's when I knew I wanted my life to be somewhat different, and to make a difference.

He Knows Me! He Really Knows Me!

2009-08-21T23:16:00.000-07:00

I love challenging myself. So today I started a beginners swimming class at Solano Community College. The instructor for the class before mine is Scott - someone who went to my church for a bit before moving to Winters.

So I said hi to Scott who didn't recognize me at first, because of the swim cap. But when I re-introduced myself, he remembered me and asked how Andrew was doing. He asked about my cycling, complemented my new teeth, and asked where I was with all my procedures. (He and his wife - who just has a baby btw - brought me a meal after my accident 2 years ago.)

Anyway after I brought him up to speed, he asked what class I was waiting for. "Beginners swimming," I told him. "I wanna do a tri before I'm 50 :)" "You totally can" he said, "if you really want to learn." And then he went on to tell me that open water swimming is his specialty and that he coaches triathletes!

I'm excited about me and Andrew reconnecting with Scott and his wife. I'm excited at the huge resource I have in Scott ... after I learn how to swim, that is =)

So my point - God is awesome. God knows me! He really knows me! I mean I know this to be true ... but every time He reveals himself (or i should say, every time i notice Him involved) in the small details of my life, I get so tickled. It's so cool.

With all the things going on in the world, it just amazes me that God would take the time to let me know that He knows about the inconsequential desires of my heart.

I left the pool humming "He Knows My Name" by Tommy Walker:

I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in His hands

I have a Father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And He hears me when I call

I Plead The 5th

2009-08-05T10:07:00.001-07:00

25 months later, my post-accident treatment plan is complete (for now). I'm having to put my restorative teeth phase on hold due to the poor economy. I am blessed nonetheless :D

The estimate from my prosthodontist is around $15K, so I have made peace with this stay plate (or temporary, partial denture). Besides, most people who don't know about my accident think these are my real choppers anyway. AND, I don't burn the roof of my mouth when I drink hot coffee!

Last month - July 5th - was 2 years since my accident. It's hard to believe that much time has gone by. Most don't know about the ordeal, some have forgotten. But for me, the date is now this strange anniversary of sorts.

Last year, I wasn't as nostalgic about it, because I was so focused on completing my cycling events. This year is a little different.

July 5, 2007 Crashed my bike, lost 4 teeth, and broke my jaw in 3 places

July 9, 2007 Surgery to plate my chin, jaw wired shut for 2 weeks

Numerous physical therapy, occupational therapy, orthodontic, and chiropractic appointments

June 1, 2008 America's Most Beautiful Ride, 100 miles around Lake Tahoe

July 12-13, 2008 202-mile Seattle to Portland Bicycle Classic

Jan. 7, 2009 Bone graft surgery

April 22, 2009 Tissue graft procedure

July 24, 2009 Implant procedure

Lots of things circle my heart and mind. I am still in process ...

I Fix My Eyes On You

2009-07-14T08:29:00.000-07:00

I love this song ...

I fix my eyes on you
The author of my faith
Casting aside
Every sin and every weight
I fix my eyes on you
I lay my burdens down
Letting the cares
Of this world now fade away

One thing I ask
This one thing I seek
That I may dwell in your house
Oh Lord my King
All the days of my life
I want to gaze upon Your beauty
And seek You in this holy place

All the days of my life
I want to gaze upon Your beauty
And seek You in this holy place

Tommy Walker and Bob Wilson

Heavy-Duty Load

2009-05-06T00:34:00.000-07:00

I'm almost certain every one of us has some heavy duty happening in our life that changed our "normal cycle" remarkably. The diagnosis of cancer, the death of a loved one, the end of a long-term relationship, or even the loss of a dream. Whatever form it takes, the blow to life is heavy, as are the rippling effects that follow. "Rippling" probably isn't a good description. Tidal wave may be more like it. Because once it happens, you know life just isn't going to be the same. Or maybe you don't feel it at that moment, but later on down the road, you find yourself thinking, "When did it get this bad?" or "Will life ever get back to normal?" Perhaps it started out as a ripple, but over the days or months or years, you suddenly feel as if a tidal wave has overcome you.

I recall the feeling of standing on the beach when a wave hits me. Sometimes the water comes so strong and is so cold that it just takes your breath away. We all have moments like that. Or sometimes, others around you have moments like that, and we experience and feel the uninvited aftershocks. Just as a drop of water has rippling effects ... so do our choices and the choices of others around us.

The heavy-duty loads are those articles of clothing that are tough - jeans for example. Towels, blankets, or rugs ... stuff that takes a lot of work to take the filth out, either because the dirt is so worked in, or the material can just handle the extra beating. We put items through the heavy-duty cycle because it needs it, or we know it can take it.

Regarding our lives, God doesn't throw us into heavy-duty situations, but, rather, he is there with us as we go through them. Even though we may not think so, God knows the fabric of our being and how much we can take. And with Him, we can take on more than we think. What heavy-duty load are you carrying?

Are you feeling like you've been thrown in the heavy-duty cycle? Let's be careful not to blame God. Instead, cling to Him ever more tightly and allow some of that deep work to be done.

Won't You Take Me To ...

2009-05-04T15:42:00.000-07:00

In your best digitized voice, sing it to me now! I can't hear you!

Scatterbrained

2009-05-01T11:29:00.000-07:00

I have lots on my mind today ... for one - trying to eat this taco salad might not be such a good idea after all. Still some post-op swelling and soreness in my mouth from my gum grafting procedure last week.

I'm thinking about a friend who's had this headache for over 4 days. Doctors gave him a scary preliminary prognosis of a cyst, blood clot, or tumor, but they are running more tests today. Praying for a peace that passes understanding as they await results.

I'm thinking about my daughter who'll be attending her Jr. Prom tomorrow. Where did the time go? I'm so proud of the young woman she's become. Hope she enjoys herself tomorrow, for it will soon be a 20-year old memory.

I'm thinking about my friend's half iron man race tomorrow and hope he kills it! Everyone needs a cheering squad - I hope someone's there to yell his name and meet him at the finish line!

Thinking about other stuff that only God knows.

And thinking about how all this thinking makes me wanna nap!

Living Above the Circumstances

2009-04-05T00:11:00.000-07:00

You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You. Isaiah 26:3 (Amplified Bible)

I still like some scriptures in the good old King James Version. Just sounds so poetic.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Isaiah 26:3 (King James Version)

Wanted to share something that I read a few weeks ago from Sarah Young's devotional, "Jesus Calling, Enjoying Peace in His Presence."

Waiting, trusting, and hoping are intricately connected, like golden strands interwoven to form a strong chain. Trusting is the central strand, because it is the response from My children that I desire most. Waiting and hoping embellish the central strand and strengthen the chain that connects you to Me. Waiting for Me to work, with your eyes on Me, is evidence that you really do trust Me. If you mouth the words "I trust You" while anxiously trying to make things go your way, your words ring hollow. Hoping is future-directed, connecting you to your inheritance in heaven. However, the benefits of hope fall fully on you in the present.

Because you are Mine, you don't just pass time in your waiting. You can wait expectantly, in hopeful trust. Keep your "antennae" out to pick up even the faintest glimmer of My Presence.

Surfer Girl

2009-04-02T00:17:00.000-07:00

I can hang ten on the internet for a long time without a single wipeout! I find a website like this that leads me to another, then another, and yet another.

25 Free Web Apps That Make Life Easier

Enjoy!

Rest for the Soul

2009-03-11T16:08:00.000-07:00

For when I think too highly of myself ...

It is not your hold of Christ that saves you - it is Christ; it is not your joy in Christ that saves you - it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument - it is Christ’s blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to your hand with which you are grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to your hope, but to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. We will never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doing, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. (Quote is from Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening)

Novocain, Nitrous Oxide, and George Duke

2009-03-03T14:54:00.000-08:00

I had a difficult time at my dental appointment today. A simple filling is all it was, but I was tense, heart beating fast, and teary eyed.

You'd think this would be easy, seeing as how I've had some major oral surgery in the past year and a half. But I was under general anesthesia for all those procedures.

But I got through it ... with some novocain, nitrous oxide, and some George Duke playing in the background.