Stifle

Stifle is a word that came to my mind as my head was still on my pillow the other day.

Stifle - unable to breathe properly; to interrupt or to cut off; to keep in or hold back; repress.

I can feel something pooling in my chest, and I work to not let it rise any further. I distract myself with another thought.  I busy myself by getting up and doing something - anything - making a cup of coffee, folding laundry, rearranging stacks of paper.  It's as if I cannot be present in the same space with whatever it is that suddenly wants to be known.

At least now I'm aware that it's there, though I haven't gotten to where I welcome its presence just yet.  I have not yet allowed myself to open the door. What does come out comes out in trickles or leaks through cracks in the facade of the wall that I realize I have built.  I am not yet ready for the flood.  I think I fear I might drown.

Thank God ~ He Is Always By My Side

Lyrics to "By Your Side"

~ Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days

Why are you trying to earn grace

Why are you crying

Let me lift up your face

Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love

Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough

To where will you go child

Tell me where will you run

To where will you run

And I'll be by your side

Wherever you fall

In the dead of night

Whenever you call

And please don't fight

These hands that are holding you

My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side

They swallowed the grave on that night

When I drank the world's sin

So I could carry you in

And give you life

I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you

I want you to know

That I, I love you

I'll never let you go

Haiku

(17 syllabels, 3 lines:  5 / 7 / 5)

I sing quietly

My heart to yours alone, Lord

And I know you hear

The Necessity of Writing

For me ...

Writing/journaling keeps me mindful to observe life and all the lessons within it. Participating in life an purposefully experiencing those lessons as they unfold inspires the content.