Exiting the freeway and making my way through the narrow and windy roads, it was as if weights were suddenly being stacked on my chest; I found it difficult to breath. But I couldn't identify what I was feeling.
I parked my minivan at the turnoff just past the portion of the road where I crashed (in the pic, it's after the bottom shadows).
I took some time to walk up the hill and back down noticing the sharpness of the turns, the steepness of the hill, and the width of the road.
I recalled the exhilarating feeling I had flying down the hill and thinking what an amazing ride it was. I remembered making that last turn and immediately knowing I was going to hit the ditch ... and closing my eyes ... and so I closed my eyes for a moment.
With my eyes still closed, standing on the side of the road, it was as if I were watching myself ride down the hill coming out of the turn. I tried to figure out why I wasn't able to stay on the road. Too fast? Too wide of a turn? Momentary loss of focus and concentration? Lost in a moment of feeling like I was flying? Probably all of the above. I had been careless.
I opened my eyes again, just staring at the spot where I landed almost 4 years ago. And I offered up a short prayer of thanksgiving to God for sparing my life that day.
